She had called to let me know that my Grandpa, my Dad's Dad, had passed away. I didn't know how to feel at first but the more and more it sunk in, I began to cry. It's hard because I only spent one single weekend with him in my whole life and that was when I was 19. That weekend was awesome, what I remember the most about it was that my Grandpa held my hand most of the time and if he wasn't holding my hand, his arm was around me. He kept telling me that he couldn't believe how old I was and that we missed too much time together, but it's good now because we have eachother and will always now. It's hard to know that I really didn't have more of him, just phone calls and knowing that he was really my "grandpa" and not just my dad's dad. I remember being at church with him and he held my hand there and I remember him trying to teach me how to talk with a pencil in my mouth because that's a good acting technique to have. (He used to be the Marlboro man and was in movies...pretty cool). It's hard because after meeting him, I loved him right away and knew that I missed a lot of time with someone who could have guided me in great ways and helped me live out my dreams...which in a way he did.
My Grandpa was an actor and I feel like that's how I have it in my blood and why it's in my Dad's blood. It's because of Grandpa. When I made my decision to audition for Disney, he was with me every step of the way...him and his wife, my Grandma Kennedy, and their daughter Kim. It was so nice to have them be apart of my journey. They were the ones I called after calling my parents once I had finished all my auditions. They helped me with my headshots, resume and monologues. I'm so glad that I had the time with him that I did, but so angry that I didn't have more. They live in California and I always say to Matt that when we get a chance we'll get down there. Maybe we still will, hopefully we still will to see my Grandma...but it's just so sad.
I had an up and down kind of day. I tried to not think about it too much because when I do I cry. I've never really had someone so blood related to me die and it's weird to think he's gone. I remember the last time I talked to him I was in Target trying to find a USB cable and was slightly distracted while on the phone... : ( I'll miss him as I have always missed and wished he could have been closer to me. He hears me now though and is going to watch me on my journey from up in Heaven...I know that. I know he was with me today, will see me on our wedding day and will be there helping me once again when we go back to Florida...
I love you Grandpa. Rest in peace, I'll see you again and we'll have lots more time together ; )
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